He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
