Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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