we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
