She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
