he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
