I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
