we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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