Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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