Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
