apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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