you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
