He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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