was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
