# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
