You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
