dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
