i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
