i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
