considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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