Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
