After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
