We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
