Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
