i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
