just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
