I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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