eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You made out with two different species that night
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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