Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
His nipple licking is glorious
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