You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
