im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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