I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
