I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
