I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
