She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
