"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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