I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
