No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
