I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
