if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Princesses don't give blow jobs
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
