Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
