did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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