you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
