You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
