I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
