Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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