We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
