Christians are straight up FREAKS
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
