That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
barbara walters just said penis...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
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