Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
