he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Dick very happy bro
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
