....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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