i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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