Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize