Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
