I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
