i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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