He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
