i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
