Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
