so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
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