He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
