Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
