Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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