speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
