What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
