My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
