its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
ok first of all what the fuck
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
