was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just want to make out with him forever
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
