he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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