Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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